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Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:32 pm
Update from the 2012 WWBN Election Newsroom...

Polls closed just minutes ago but with the expertise of the finest countermonkey's have projected a landslide win for former WWBN Mad Mad World Host Dunena Reid.

Exit poll results give a strong 80% majority result for the newcomer with some even choosing to vote for exotic animals then give a vote to Frump in what has to be his worst result ever.

You heard it here first, Dunena Reid is the new American Minister for Magic!

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Sat Jan 21, 2012 6:52 am
The Magical world today woke to a flurry of Werks and stories after last night's broadcast of Dunena Reid's Weird Weird World hinted, quite strongly that recently crowned Houglass Magazine's Person of the Year Dunena Reid, was set to enter the race for the 2012 American Magical Elections with no lesser sight then the Minister's position currently held by Ronald Frump.

Speaking to the Ministry this morning reporters where told that while some paperwork may have been received it was after the weekend cut-off and would not be looked at until the subsequent week at the earliest.. unless it had fallen on the desk of one F. Blake in which one just had to hope that it would be filed at all.

Considered a possible hoax a interview with Producer and year long associate of Mr Reid Benjamin Jefferson led to the following statement "The hell I know? Trust me man I'm usually the last to find out these things"

More on this story and other top breaking news including the protest by Interweb giants Woozle against Muggle proposed internet filtering laws, after this break.

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Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:05 pm
The Accademia Magica di Italia is proud to announce the hiring of Chudley Canons star player, Jamie Savage as its new professor of Broom Flying Instruction and team quidditch coach. Interim Headmaster Angelo Benito made the announcement at a press conference this morning. He stated that "The school is pleased and grateful that someone of Senore Savage's talent would accept a position like this. The students will benefit greatly from his expertise". Professor Savage has already begun working with the students and the team has their first game soon against Venice Magical Academy.

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Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:22 pm
Our Paris news desk reports that police in Paris have begun searching the Seine River for the body of a man who is believed to have jumped from one of the bridges in a possible suicide attempt. Reported by a party on one of the barges docked along the Seine, this raw footage shot by one of the party goers shows the man plunging into the river. No sign of his exit from the river has been found and they believe that he died on impact.

Next up is....

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Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:23 am
Yes ladies the roamers where true that none other then high flung socialite and darling of the European Ministry Fifi LaRoux has been sighted in Melbourne, Australia which has recently been named the worlds most livable city for a second time.

While none have stated what brought on the arrival of Miss LaRoux there's been no question that the world famous Hit Witch has made no secret of her visit with roamers of a behind closed doors meeting with the Minister for Magic himself before dining out at the exclusive Vue de Monde for drinks. Seemingly at home in the city Fifi underwent a tour of the Auror department before attending the midwinter launch of the Matacore 'Enchantment' line of fashion robes. Speaking exclusively to WWBN Fifi states that she was very pleased to be in Australia and would not commit to any return dates nor roamers that her visit had anything to do with attempts to influence the Australian Ministry to re-think it's ties to Ronald Frump's ministry.

Witch Weekly's exclusive Interview with the well known Hit Witch hits store shelves Monday.

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Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:56 pm
It seems that exposing the Minister of Magic's secret love shack was not enough to keep the host of WWBN's Top Rating News and Current Affairs show Dunena's Mad Mad World set for long. Now with the reveal of Pottermore the controversial host has moved to point fingers at not only the American Minister for Magic but that of a number of major Magical Ministries around the world accusing them of taking bribes to allow unfettered access to the Magical World. Outrage from the claims have lead to a call for a full investigation into Mr Reid's accusations. All Eyes are now on the Various Ministers and how they will respond to the latest revelations from the Man himself, Dunena Reid of Mad Mad World.

After the break WWBN-UK Continues it's round the clock coverage of the 2011 Glastonbury Festival, taking place at Worthy Farm in the UK where our own Cherry Clinger is keeping abreast of the top stories and gossip at iconic music festival with interviews with big names and newcomers alike in the Wrock scene including a exclusive with DJ Noiseworks and former one time Weird Sister Nathan Wright.

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Fri Jun 24, 2011 5:51 pm
"In Global News today many Muggles the world over logged on to the unveiling of 'Pottermore' last night, a new co-production between 'JK', Warner Brothers and Muggle Game Man..Man..Manufacturer Sony. Promising to give Muggles and Wizards alike a whole new experience many prominent figures in the magical world have come out damning what they see as yet another crass profit making exercise at the expense of the magical community.

One Hogwarts teacher has stated that since this 'Pottermore thing' started they have been inundated with well over one thousand owls from worried parents, former students and others wishing to know if it would mean Muggles would be allowed to study at Hogwarts or.. worse the school was to give up it's long held stance amongst the only schools to not have it's own interweb network.

While many in the Wizarding World are concerned Woozle today speaking to WWBN-Japan was quoted as "Not at all Worried" while reminding Wizards and Muggles alike that "whatever Pottermore promises to be there is no doubt that with Sony it will only be a matter of time before hackers get it".

In other news the Australian Ministry of Magic has moved to deny any connection to a self-declaired witch jailed for recklessly causing serious injury and dangerous driving. The Australian Minister for Magic was quoted as calling the woman a 'Bloody Idiot' while reminding that no matter what world one thinks they belong to, the laws of Australia still apply.

This has been Kim Sparkle for WWBN News at Five"

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Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:48 am
"WWBN Today officially announced that it has apologized to American Minister for Magic Ronald Frump for allegations made about him on flagship nightly talk show Dunena's Mad Mad World hosted on WWBN. While the Minister was brought into a furor over recent alligations surrounding his private life it was the revelation of his secret Tuscan Villa that has lead to red faces and claims to 'Sue WWBN for every knurd it has'. Amid the turmoil ratings for WWBN's radio talk show have skyrocketed making it more popular then 'Clives Charms Hour'. Speaking to the head of WWBN it was quoted that 'Whoever Dunena is they're on to a good thing, and might just be the Wizarding Worlds answer to the Muggle World's 'Julian Assange'"
In Depth Report: Dunena's Mad Mad World #3

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Tue Jun 14, 2011 5:25 am
"In local news the Victorian Ministry of Magic are continuing investigations into a alleged House Elf sighting on April 26th in Drouin, a rural town 45 minutes from Melbourne. Witnesses described two ugly children suspected of stealing sneakers and wearing odd headgear. No ministry intervention was required but a number of confused Muggles where reported at the scene.

The Ministry of Magic has issued a reminder for House Elf Owners to take care when in areas where Muggles may be present."

In Depth Report: And at last we will be free, You're a bluebird

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Tue Apr 12, 2011 8:39 pm

"Hello and welcome to WWBN News at Five, I'm Kim Sparkle and now for the headlines."

" 'No News is Good News' Is the word coming down from the Ministry and Re-it.. Re..iterated across the world. We asked The Head of Muggles United for a comment but they where unashamedly silent."

"More bulletins and the latest Quidditch Scores Right After This Break.."

No Story is Too Big or Too Small!
Post your Own News Stories!
Code:

Write Your Story (don't forget to keep it short and snappy for the camera!)
[b]In Depth Report:[/b] [url=link to source thread here (optional)[/url]

"...and in other news a happy occasion as a woman is reunited with her long lost pet Norwegian Ridgeback named Snuffles who flew off after setting fire to her house and those of neighbouring Muggles. The Woman states she is delighted but doesn't understand why her insurance premiums have sky-rocketed after what she claims was just 'a little accident"

"This is Kim Sparkle wishing you a good and safe evening."

"Goodnight."

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Post 1 on Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:49 am

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Marty had not left his apartment since arriving home from McQueen's office. He stripped down and took a long hot shower, some of the forgotten bruises coming back to mind now that it was all over and done. The eye was still seventy-five percent shut and had taken on a rather interesting combination of colors. Changing into sweatpants and a tshirt, Marty knew he'd have to update his C.V. and think about where to submit it but right now, he just wanted to clean up and get comfortable.

After that, he took a small bottle of brandy out of the bag of purchases he had made before coming home and poured a glass for himself. Taking a good long swig, he darn near spit it out, coughing violently and expressing his opinion of it to the room at large, himself. "Shit! How can she stand to drink that stuff?" he asked, for it was pretty much the only drink most people saw his boss former employer with most of the time. Shoving the glass aside, he got a clean one, added ice and poured some of the rye he bought into it, sipping it. It still burned but it was a decent, good feeling burn.

Remembering he hadn't eaten since his early dinner yesterday, he opened the cabinet and took out a box of jaffa cakes he had picked up at Aldi's down the street earlier in the week. Taking his 'meal' to the sleeping area of his loft apartment, Marty searched his iPod play list and finding what he wanted, hit play sat on the floor in front of the bed with his 'food' and put on his earphones.

That was where he was now. How much time had passed, he had no idea. Could have been a few hours, could have been a day or two. He had not moved except to refill his glass, eventually just bringing the bottle and the beer he bought over to where he was, along with a box or two of jaffa cakes. If someone tried knocking on the door as he listened to music and drank, it wasn't too sure they'd hear it and would probably have to just walk in. Not, Marty knew, that any one ever came to see him.

Post 2 on Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:04 pm

Born in The United States of America Squib - Child of Two Magical Parents born without the ability to do Magic
:+ : Producer of Dunena's Weird Weird World
None
WWBN - New York
Male Posts : 38
Age : 43
Current Location : New York, USA
Job : Producer of Dunena's Weird Weird World
Face Claim : Flying Lotus (Steven Ellison)
Famous Last Words : Producer of the #1 Rating Weird Weird World on WWBN!
Benjamin had just gone down the street to pick up a carton of milk for Mom, he'd been laying low since the whole riot thing at the Ministry, jumpy that the first time he showed his head at work the Auror's would pounce on him like they had on his boss. Meg still wasn't talking to him, and worse she'd withheld the kids over his attack of stupidity in following Dunena into the whole mess. It hurt deep, Mom had been asking questions as well. Far as she knew he'd just had a argument with Meg, they tended to have them every few months about something stupid like overspending the budget or tensions about one or the other being suspected of seeing someone.

Head down he was listening to some beats as he cut though a narrow alley on the way home. Little did he expect a figure to step out of the shadows behind him and before he knew it all thoughts of Meg and his Mom or well anything drained away with a wand flash. Instead he just stared blankly, a sense of calm peace as he nodded dumbly at a photograph that was shoved in his face of the guy who'd gotten arrested at the protest before a envelope was handed to him. Somehow it just seemed right that of course he'd track down the man.. Marty Harper as he was told and ensure that he got the package. It wasn't all that far outside of his usual fetching and hunting for his boss and somehow it seemed quite a simple matter as he pulled out his iPhone and did a search for any Marty Harper's living in New York.

While he wasn't a secret agent Benjamin had to admit that it was enjoyable as he blagged his way into talking to a young constable at the station where the man had been arrested and eventually a half hour later had a address in Greenwich village. That was ages away from where he was but it was no trouble, the woman had given him enough cash to grab a cab across town. Even though it took about five for one of the guys to pick him up Benjamin didn't get angry and it was almost too easy when he stepped out to look up at a apartment block just like a million or so others dotted all over New York. Tucking up his sunglasses he hit the buzzer button next to a M.Harper, waiting as it rung out before trying again. Benjamin was determined however and after working his way though three other names he managed to get though to a old man to let him in.

Unfortunately the man insisted on following Benjamin up due to not liking the 'looks' of him. That didn't trouble Benjamin though as he climbed the stairs and banged on the door to Marty's apartment. There was no response but after asking the old man said that he hadn't seen the man for a couple of days. Suspicious of Benjamin he did manage to convince the other man to get the landlord to open the door, Benjamin stepping into the apartment, normally he'd be terrified and jumping out of his skin to be entering some strangers house like this, but the fuzz in his head was making it all feel just fine as he called out "Yo Marty? Marty are you in here dude?" Benjamin called out as he stepped inside the apartment, It didn't take long to find the man sitting on the floor in less then a healthy looking state. "Shit..." now what was he supposed to do?



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Post 3 on Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:59 am

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Marty had continued on from the MIkado to HMS Pinafore and through the list of Gilbert & Sullivan operas and currently was listening to The Pirates of Penzance, in particular, the song I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General.

At full volume

Still with headphones on.

Sometimes over the course of time, the amount of light coming through the windows had dimmed and brightened in well timed cycles. How many times it had done this, Marty was unable to say because he had no idea, having paid no attention to it. His hours had become a set routine of drink, listen, rub face, realize there was stubble, go shower, shave, return to floor, sitting with back to bed, repeat.

and repeat

and repeat.

Until, when he didn't answer the door because the music drowned out the knocking, BJay made his way in. He didn't realize BJay was calling out his name till he saw the feet standing near him. Looking up, he tried to place where he knew the guy standing there from as he moved the earphones to around his neck. "Oh... Yeah... You left early..." he commented. The landlord and the older man who had let BJay in were standing there looking a bit surprised at the condition they found Marty in.

"You okay, Mr. Harper?" the landlord asked.

"He's a friend of yours, Martin?" the older neighbor asked.

"Yeah, Conrad. Had a bit of an accident, that's all," Marty told him, avoiding questions further about his eye and condition. "Be fine. Yeah, I know this guy," Marty assured his neighbor. "Thanks." He waited as both men left, pulling the door shut and looked at BJay. "So, what? Your boss send you to finish the beating?" Marty asked in a monotone that made it clear if that was the case then just get it over with and let him go back to his nourishment and music.

Post 4 on Mon Oct 24, 2011 2:27 pm

Born in The United States of America Squib - Child of Two Magical Parents born without the ability to do Magic
:+ : Producer of Dunena's Weird Weird World
None
WWBN - New York
Male Posts : 38
Age : 43
Current Location : New York, USA
Job : Producer of Dunena's Weird Weird World
Face Claim : Flying Lotus (Steven Ellison)
Famous Last Words : Producer of the #1 Rating Weird Weird World on WWBN!
Benjamin hadn't been thinking about what he expected to find when he'd managed to track down Marty, the happy fog in his head ensuring that all other things where put aside from his 'mission'. He knew what he'd been instructed to do but nowhere had it mentioned dealing with a man who had clearly been on more then a bit of a bender by the sound of the music blasting from the guys headphones. Benjamin had no idea what he was listening to but just the sound of it from where he was standing was quite possibly some of the worst music he'd ever heard. The Gods only knew what Marty would do when he saw him, Benjamin would have fled was it not for the fact that leaving was impossible, he couldn't even bring the thought to the front of his mind without the reminder that he had to ensure Marty got his package. That was more important then anything, even his life.

First though, he had to get rid of the landlord and old man.. leave no witnesses.. that was important. Benjamin didn't know how he was going to do that but he'd figure something out.. or well turns out he didn't have to as Marty looked up at him. Oh good he didn't scream or attack him, that was always a plus. "Yeah man.." Benjamin just adjusted his hat unsure of what else to say. While the landlord was shocked the old man was still casting glances at Benjamin like he might try to make off with the tv any second. It would have been laughable if it wasn't such a common occurrence. Thankfully Marty managed to save Benjamin from having to think up a suitable lie as he told the other guys that it was all good, Benjamin couldn't help giving the old man a smug look at the almost-disappointment at seeing that Benjamin was telling the truth.. not that he had been, but guys like that where always waiting for the fist chance to bring the cops down on guys like him. Even if he was trying to do something honest like deliver a package.

Oh yes.. the package! His face turned to a wide smile just at the thought of it as he waited and turned to watch the other men leave. Benjamin wasn't sure if Marty would stay or try to run but he figured a guy like that wouldn't get too far.. not that Benjamin was keen to chase him.. that was just asking for trouble. But he would if he had to, Benjamin would do anything to make sure the package was delivered and Marty received it. As the door closed Benjamin for a moment wondered if Marty was going to come at him and do a repeat of the fight that had happened outside the Ministry, but instead he just seemed to be asking to be hit instead. "Hey man.. I had nothing to do with that.. prettysure me boss didn't neither" Benjamin shrugged, far as he knew Dunena had been innocent in everything. "Got a package for you is all" Benjamin said digging around his hoodie before offering up a envelope that looked a bit too thick to be holding just a letter. 'Gotta deliver..gotta deliver.. the letter..' the idea going around his head and making him feel on top of the world. Now all Marty had to do was take it and he'd everything, everywhere would be just fine.



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Post 5 on Tue Oct 25, 2011 2:01 am

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Marty looked up at Benjamin when the man denied having anything to do with the beating and somewhere in the back of his partially fogged mind, he remembered the man expressing some sort of either concern or dismay at what was/had happened. "Eh, sorry. What's your name since you seem to know mine? Cold ones in frig if you want," Marty told him indicating the small apartment refrigerator across the room. The nice part about living in the Village was that the shopkeepers knew their regular neighborhood customers so once he made the initial purchase that morning after, calling back down to Duke for deliveries was no problem. Though Duke was a bit surprised at the orders since it was much more than Marty usually bought but a sale was a sale and Marty was at home, not out on the roads driving too.

Now as to whether his boss did or did not have anything to do with the beating, Marty was not that generous yet. Obviously, had the boss not been there doing whatever it was he was doing, Marty was fairly sure that he would not be where he was right now. But he was in no mood to get into an argument and this guy seemed okay so he really did not want to argue with him. Good thing, cause there was about to be an argument that was not going to be avoided, though it might actually provide his visitor with some entertainment.

"Envelope?" Marty asked, wondering why BJay's boss would be sending him an envelope. Or maybe it was coming through his window like that small stack over on the floor that seemed to come from nowhere. He had looked at the first one and it was from some newspaper. Marty figured it must be a new subscription drive thing but he'd never heard of The Global Voice before. Village Voice yes, but never heard of this one. Couldn't figure out how those letters were coming in either and might have actually tried to figure it out under normal conditions but for now, he ignored whoever Greta Greenwich was.

Taking the envelope from BJay, Marty turned it around in his hands looking for an address or something but none was to be found. Shrugging he opened it and dumped it on the floor next to him, spilling out the stacks of money, an airline ticket and a letter. Marty took a drink from his glass and stared for a bit before picking up the letter and the argument began.

"You're welcome but really you had to send all this for that?"
"Ones that wish to harm me? No shit, Sherlock! Hadn't noticed. Nope not a clue at all. Wonder if that has anything to do with this black eye?"
"Oh aren't you so kind? Thought the way out was called arrested?"
"Stop, she's trying to be nice"
"Right. Yeah. Sure."
"Well she is"
"Paris? Not safe? That's a hoot"
"At least she seems worried"
"Yeah as worried as when she told me I'm not good enough to associate with her?"
"She didn't say that"
"Marty Ai do not think it would be wise for us to be seen together again"
(in a falsetto voice with a really bad accent)
"Well, okay... uhm.... So maybe a short trip would do you good?
"Right... So she can tell me more how I'm so not understanding of 'her class of people'. "
"It doesn't sound like that though"
"What? Next you'll be telling me Santa's real?"
"Uhm no, just that ... you should give her a chance? It's only fair"


Had he been sitting at a desk, he might have applied it to his head but he wasn't. Instead, he picked up the plane ticket and stared at it, setting it and the letter to the side. "Figures she'd pick Paris. My visa's expired for there. Guess I'll have to make a fast trip to the consulate in person." Looking down at the stack of bills, Marty shoved them towards BJay. "Yours. Don't want it," before taking off his headphones and standing up a bit unsteadily. Reaching over, he shut off the music.

Post 6 on Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:41 am

Born in The United States of America Squib - Child of Two Magical Parents born without the ability to do Magic
:+ : Producer of Dunena's Weird Weird World
None
WWBN - New York
Male Posts : 38
Age : 43
Current Location : New York, USA
Job : Producer of Dunena's Weird Weird World
Face Claim : Flying Lotus (Steven Ellison)
Famous Last Words : Producer of the #1 Rating Weird Weird World on WWBN!
Shrugging Benjamin was used to folks thinking the worst of him, he just had one of those faces he guessed. "Benjamin Jefferson.. most folks just call me Bjay for short" Benjamin said offering Marty a hand. "Cool.." Benjamin just said at the mention of there being beer. He couldn't help but have a glance around at the place as he made his way to the kitchen area and grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge. It was a pretty neat place, much nicer then his 'bachelor pad' though his place hardly counted with his mother living there and all. Yep, he'd come so far in life only to wind up in a two bedroom crummy apartment shared with his mother. At least Claire said she was he was keeping a eye on her, it made Benjamin feel like less of a loser. It was a bit odd though being in another guys house who he didn't even know. Childhood memories of Mom telling him to not talk to strangers and all that but of course that didn't matter much, the package mattered and everything else was just filler. Speaking of the package Benjamin nodded "Yeahman.. " before handing it over.. immediately he felt light headed as if the greatest joint in the world had just then taken effect. Wow.. yeah that was good.. Benjamin was grooving along with the high as he took a sip of beer and looked around..dude had a bunch of mail piling up and it was pretty obvious to all that he was devoid of any lady friends. Well apart from Crazylady apparently.

..then again Benjamin found that it all made rather a lot of sense as the guy started going on.. man and he thought the Lady was crazy! Cue keeping a close hand on his beer and backing. away. very. slowly. as the guy seemed to be arguing to himself (including some rather woeful acting that Benjamin had to guess was supposed to be a impression of the French Bint). Worse for Benjamin was the fact that the happy-fog was starting to evaporate and his mind was beginning to work on it's own again to point out the fact that he was completely across town in some white guy's apartment who was apparently completely nuts. Why had he come here anyway? Benjamin had a vague feeling about something being important but puff.. it was gone. "Right well.. I'd better be going.." Benjamin started to say as the argument went on.. his eyes on the stack of money on the floor. That did not look good, none of this looked any good. They where probably drug traffickers or criminals or something and here he was, man he'd get in so much shit if anyone knew he'd gone up here. In a way like so many he was hypnotized by the amount of money just sitting around as if it was well.. just paper or something. Cue a almost heart attack when Marty (who seemed to be going though some serious internal monologue) pushed the stack of cash towards him. "Ohman.....your sure about that right?" his heart was beating fast, logic telling him that nothing involving a stranger giving him a ton of cash would be anything but a bad thing. Yet on the other hand Meg had been nagging him about the kids needing money for new shoes or something and Mom always needed something or another.. and rent was hardly cheap plus Benjamin still didn't know if he had a job or not come Monday.

Pride was one thing, but money was money, you either had it or you didn't and so after awhile staring at it Benjamin shrugged and did his best to scoop it into a rough pile, shoving it in his pockets he felt like he was painting a gigantic target sign on his chest for any cops, muggers and general lowlifes to see. But you did what you had to do, that was what New York was all about after all. "Thanks man.. and eh.. good luck.. with all that" He guessed he owed the guy that for all the cash. Nervously Benjamin waved a awkward goodbye before letting himself out of the apartment and hurrying down the stairs. Once he hit the street there was nothing for it but to jump a cab.. growing increasingly annoyed as he was passed three times before one of the guys would let him in. A hour later Benjamin stumbled up the steps to his apartment before swearing.. in all the fuss he'd forgotten to get the milk Mom had sent him out for in the first place. Cue a long rant/lecture asking where he'd been and what he'd been doing. Benjamin didn't even dare let her see the money he'd gotten. She'd probably have assumed he was out running drugs or pistolwhipping folks. Benjamin could deal with folks assuming the worst about him because of his face, but when it came to his Mom or kids that was one line he'd never cross. "It's fine Mom.. I'll get ya some in the mornin'" he was starting to get a headache, little did he know that he'd been followed half the night. A shadowy figure slipping away from his apartment with a quiet 'pop of an apparition, satisfied that the job had been done well and she would know one way or another what was to be.



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